Are you wondering if its possible to have both a successful marriage & a successful business?
Well, here is some good news! It TOTALLY is possible!
When we first started our business, I was unsure of what would happen. Questions like “What if it doesn’t work out”or “what if our marriage falls apart”, were running through my mind. The most consuming thought I had was “he wont ever pay attention to me anymore, because all his time & effort will be going into the business!”
I soon realized that these thoughts came from a woman who was not trusting in the Lord or in her husband.
With that, lets get to the first step in having a successful marriage & business.
FAITH in God is the first step.
We tend to worry a lot when first start or consider starting a business. But, when we put our faith in God, who we trust to take care of us, we should also trust He will take care of our business! If we claim to be Christians, we are claiming that God is Lord over our life. (which means in every area!) So, we shouldn’t be doubtful about starting a buisness! Much less with the spouse God has brought into our life!
As business wives we HAVE to fully depend on God to provide our every need as we take a scary but exciting step of faith. We have to trust in God moment-by-moment because if we try & look ahead at all that can go wrong, we will be blinded with all the negative. This can & will discourage our spouse.
Without faith in God, we WILL face division & problems in our marriage. Our relationship with God needs to be first, & we need to read our bible like our life depends on it! (because it Does!) When our relationship with God is firm nothing will stop us from succeeding.
Proverbs 16:3 (NIV) says
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans.”
When we put God first, we will have a successful marriage & a successful business.
TRUSTING in your husband is the next step.
Trusting in our husband can sometimes feel impossible. But, now that we’ve completed the first step, this next step will be a lot easier.
“Now that we have been made right with God by putting our trust in Him, we have peace…” Romans 5:1 (NLV)
Sill, there will be times where we face many differences.
But who says those differences will be bad?
Many times we will face struggles. As a matter of fact, you WILL face opposition in a business with your spouse at one point in time. But Romans 5:3 says “we are glad for our troubles also. We know that troubles help us learn not to give up.” (NLV)
God tells us in his word “when we have stood the test, it gives us hope.” (Rom.5:4)(NLV)
Hope is what the Lord gives us to persevere through the difficult circumstances we face in both our marriage & business. He WILL grant us the Hope we need to trust our husbands.
This now brings us to WORKING TOGETHER.
We NEED to work together.
Sit down & make a plan! Sit sown & make some rules!
Make sure both of your priorities are the same when it comes to God being first(ALWAYS), marriage, family, & lastly the business.
All of this should be considered when starting a business, making sure you both are on board on how much sacrificing there will be, & how much time & energy it will be taking.
SACRIFICE is a scary word for a lot of us. It hits us personally because it means we are going to have to give up things that are already a part of us.
We get uncomfortable with this word & sometimes even avoid talking about what sacrifices we will be making.
Sacrificing is only hard when we are selfish.
If you’re married already, you know being selfish is not going to let your marriage grow. & if you haven’t experienced it yet, Trust me, I speak from experience.
Without sacrifice on BOTH parts, you will not be able to have a successful marriage or a successful business.
SUPPORT.
When I say support your husband I don’t mean for you to just say “yeah I support my husband in his business” because that’s not supporting him.
A man once told me “I used to say I supported my wife in her business, but I realized that until I really got into her business & helped her, then I wasn’t really supporting her. I never knew how much work this took. This is a whole new world! You can’t say you support someone until you are apart of it.”
This really opened my eyes because I’ve always thought I supported my husband by just saying it. It wasn’t until I got in the car with him & worked with him did I realize how much he REALLY does in the business.
You don’t necessarily have to be on the job with your husband to help support them. But you can help by answering phone calls, getting clients for him, advertising, helping with deliveries, filling paper work or doing numbers for him. Ask him what you can do to support him & make him feel like you are available to help whenever you can.
This is the type of support your husband needs.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)
Have a Rest DAY.
Have a rest day every week, two if possible!
This is so very important!
The reason I made this the last point is because THIS IS IMPORTANT!
I can’t say it enough! A REST DAY IS NECESSARY!!!
“And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.”
Genesis 2:2-3
If GOD, the creator, had a rest day, who are we to think we shouldn’t have a rest day!?
“But there’s so much that needs to be done. There’s not enough time. I can’t afford to rest. Time is money”
But GOD rested.
God made time.
God did all that he needed to so & still, he rested!
Plain and simple.
If you don’t want to listen to me about rest days, LISTEN TO GOD!!
From my experience, having a rest day has kept our relationship stable.
My husband makes a point to take Sundays off which is spent with going to church & often times gathering at family functions after church.
But because our business is fairly new, he will sometimes go do estimates, answer phone calls & emails or deal with paper work.
As this happens, we need to learn to accept this is part of life for the business.
Sometimes He’s going to answer that phone call while you’re with your family, because it’s important.
Sometimes, He’s going to reply to that email before you finish your talk with him, because there’s a deadline that needs to be met.
He’s going to have to make these choices, knowing it might upset you because he’s trying to provide the best quality for the Business. He does this, not to put you on the back burner, but to build a good reputation for the business so he is able to provide for you & your family!
Everything that he works hard in right now, will pay off & this is where we need to understand him. Even when we don’t understand, we need to TRUST HIM!!!
So moving forward, my husband also takes a Monday or Tuesday off (if he can) for himself. He didn’t always used to do this. Especially in the beginning of starting the business. He would work 6 days a week until finally his body couldn’t keep up with his mind, and he HAD to take a day to just sleep in & relax.
So now, this day can include personal errands or even business errands he can’t get done when he has to work.
It also works great for us to have some quality time together. (Sometimes I just tag along as he runs his errands!)
This is just some personal advice I wanted to share that has definitely helped me as a wife to not feel abandoned or left out in our growing business.
All this has been things I’ve experienced in our business growth & I know there is so much more to learn. I hope to continue bringing you along my journey as a business wife and I hope that is encouraged & inspired you in love, to search for how to have a successful business without neglecting your marriage.
The key is having a strong relationship with God. Having that foundation to the start of anything in life, will always help you succeed!
-Naomi Judith Simaj
Reformed Perspective 